The day when i was banished into Hell

Those close to me knew that I was always crowned with fame, since my MBA days till my job in the bank. A good student, good friend, good interview candidate, good employee, decent job etc.

Since my return to campus, personally i felt luck had always been on my side, and often the outcome outperformed my expectation, which in a way is due to the hard effort that i poured in. My confidence level improved, unfortunately my arrogance ballooned proportionately. I enjoyed the hard-earned glory and fame, began walking up in style and often attracted many admiration and envy glances, brushed past my colleagues and establishing presence in high profile manner.

Arrogance and over confident, the twin devil overpowered me.

Until the black Friday on 27/9/2012, I failed my bank exam. I started to lose everything.

I remembered vividly when my colleague approached me with the bad news,

"I passed, so are others in the division except YOU" he said bluntly.

"Oh,.. congratulation..." i replied gingerly.

Other colleagues around probably heard it, some with disbelieving face staring at me.

My mind was completely blank, i went into a trance. As i was working on a reply to an VIP client who that had their account overdrawn, i stupidly typed the email reply as below:

"...account overdrawn is a sign of financial insolvency which may trigger downgrade in credit rating."

which later the customer complaint to my higher authority of my "imaginative" accusation, cursing their business failure. That was really dumb.

Next, i thought of telling the people around me whom i love and concern on the bad news. My tears became uncontrollable when i typed the sms:

"I failed my exam, Sorry to disappoint you. Do not worry of me, I am fine."

Throughout that day, there are many consolation and friendly pat from my colleagues and friends. It was a long day especially you have to put up a smiley face and portray the i-am-fine look when they came to give you their supportive pat. How much i wished to crawl into a hole and cry like a baby.
They are the sincere angels, just that i need some time to digest the cruel fact.

Days after that, i began to sense different treatment from people around me.

Colleague that usually come to ask for assistance on some accounting queries stop doing so.

Ladies that usually gave me the sweetest smile now do not bother to have eye-contact with me.

Remarks such as "so the smartie all the while isn't that smart after all" became one of the joke during lunch, which i assume it was rumours when my close friend told me that.

Until my ultimate encounter with a friend, who immediately began her consoling speech when we bumped into each other, ended up with "can you do me a favour, please help to borrow the notes from your close friend that passed the exam". It was a true sting, I was thinking that you could actually borrow it from me too.

This is why i named this post - the day i was banished into Hell.

Contrary to everyone's belief that i will sink into prolong pessimism and dismay, I began to feel that it is a blessing in disguise. There is a reason for everything that happened.

Firstly, this is the time for me to identify people and friend.

Secondly, I was too over-confident of passing the exam, until i utilized all my annual leave for vacation after the exam. I even planned for the celebration dinner with my love one before result is announced.

I was assuring my parents and friends not to worry of my exam, whenever they asked about it.

My philosophy, sky is the limit, which is not the best attitude in engaging with my superior.

This came as a wake-up-call, as my colleague correctly spelt, that pull me down to earth and to be realistic on where i am.
I began to show more respect to people around me, after all i am just like them.
I began to put up more humbleness and learn from people around me.
I began to repeat my uphill battle as the preparation for next exam in Dec.

Whenever the negative emotion tried to influence me, my inner voice tells me:
" A successful man is not defined as how many successes he achieved,
it was only when he is able to survive the last fall and emerge stronger that makes him a successful man."

After all the smooth journey, this could be the perfect fall that i had in my life!